30 January 2010

A Wee Bit O' Blarney For Ya...

My Thanks To Momlady For The Jokes!

Have a gret Saturn's Day, everyone!


Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."


An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again


Paddy was in New York .

He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians. " Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.

He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians! " for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"


Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.

"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"

"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"


Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Patton said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Kathleen said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror."


Slainte, folks!!!

Hiya Folks...

Been a busy last few days for the MacMeister-- all good. I gots some sore muscles from doing some landscape cleanup yesterday and Tyr's Day; got much more @ both sites to do. And look forward to doing so. Really does boil down to loving the dirt under my nails, the Earth in my nostrils, and seeing the end result-- something where nothing was, or nothing where something was in the cases of cleanup/ trimming-- the open, airy spaces giving heretofore choked plants & shrubs some suneshine-sperading growing-room

I love physical work. I feel it more as the seasons continue progressing at seemingly alarming rates, but... I like that, too. Means I'm keeping somewhat fit.

I love the challenge of gardening. My attempt @ lettuce, cabbage, spinach... not showing any sprouts yet. Two weeks ago this stuff went into the clay. BUT... we've had a beaucoup of rains, and it is, in all honesty, a good bit more cool a clime than I've habited and greened my thumbs in for the majority of my adult life.
And just means I'll needs be all the more attentive, learn some new patterns and cycles. I'm cool with-- no pun intended-- the challenge...

Tonight I'm gonna take some more of last summer's okra culling and make a small contribution to the evening feast (again). I was gonna do country-fried steaks (aka, to me, as chicken-fried, but... it is beef. Can be, anyhow....), but apparently they aren't so prolific a thing up here (hell, you'd think I were in New York City ["GET A ROPE!!!"], the unavailability of them things here-- from resteraunts, to the local Dairy Queen. YES, I damn near walked out of the one visited for lunch today when told they didn't have those. ["WHUH??! No Dudes?!?]) Oh, they gots some li'l bitty cubesteaks @ the local mart, but...
Well, the fried okry will provide grease enough for tonight. I'll do the CFS for Kyddryn's birthday. Besides, don't wanna let 'em know I can do all the meal in one night. I mean, how would a man get any hockey viewage in thata-way? lol!

Speaking of-- tonight's featured match at casa de crazy is the Colorado Avalanche vs. Dallas Stars . My two favorite teams, my being
a) A Texan (bred and cornbread fed!!)
b)A[n aspiring] rock climber

I normally pull for one or the other of these teams-- until they meet, as oft they have, in the Western Conference Finals. Then, well... it's all Av's, seeding be damned!

And it's time, folks, for me to get to it-- to fry some garden fruits, to toun on the boob-toob, and to enjoy.

And the weekend sans seven-year-old, too?

Ah, well; too bad for all those sore muscles...


Slainte, folks!


27 January 2010

And How Many Tomatoes Will That Be?

I found a barber shop yesterday.

No, not a beautie buffoonery spot.

Probably one reason they don't want fifteen simoleans per whack. A nominally fair eight green frogskins will suffice. Or...

Well, first off, this is the boonies. The business is nicely set up-- chair, multi-mirror angles, kids' toy-saturated waiting area and all-- in a well-converted garage.

When I walked in, I could smell dinner wafting out of the cracked kitchen access door. Good home cooking at that... [I did mention the country locale, oui?]. I was greeted by a man licking his fingers in the best 'chefs perogative' way. I was invited to sit. I was draped. And he dissappeared...

To finish cooking dinner, whilst the wife came out to take the clippers!!!

"Talk to me," she said.

So I did. Told her what I wanted, and she proceeded to provide it. While there was no wasted movement on her part-- she had dinner to get to, after all!!-- the job was neither sloppy nor rushed. And we ambled on, as in any good barber chair, with the conversing.

By the end of the cut, I'd discovered that she hosts yard sales every weekend, and is as unenamored with the current economy as any tried-and-true American out there. She isn't unopen to the idea of letting someone set up alongside and proffer their wares-- in my case, garden veggies.

And will barter to boot.


Long about time for another clip, I hope the lettuce, peas, and spinach are going strong. Leave a shredded mass of dead protien on the garage floor, a bowl of leafy greens on the kitchen counter...

And see ya next trip! Ha!

Slainte, folks!!!


A Version 'Specially For Cygnus...

Listen Closely If You Know This Song.

I never heard it before tonight. I dinna like it. At first.

Then, I take it, there were a slight variation of words...

Slainte, folks!


25 January 2010

Too Soon Or Not Too Soon...

IS That The Question?

According to the peas, not really...

Not too soon to be planted, that is. A mite tough to see from this picture

but there are ten peas a-peain' down here.

These went in the clay about ten or so days ago, by some stairwork that'll provide a great natural trellis.

A week or so later the tiller were borrowed, and new beds laid and hoed. [Quit! I gots pictures!! Hey, I'll plow 'em all over the yard if'n I so choose!! You know I will...]

From the new bed's perspective, though, certainty is a bit more, ah... Schrodinger.

Here're the rows before it was a dark and stormy night:

Then came the rains

and washed the rows away. Thus the row-row-row-your-boat look apres.

I won't yet cop to spreading seed too early. I did hope to see some leafy veggie sprouts by now, but I dinna expect two nights' worth of swimming pool fill pouring from the heavens. The seed may be a bit more sporadically spread, but they're watered in well, and we've got a few days of soil-warming sunshine on the way. I mean, worst case scenario, I harvest instant mix-- no need to toss the salad! har!!

Okay, folk, I done given you enough imagery for the night.

If not, well, spanx or no, come on over! I gots plenty o' seed and bed-space!!! HARARARRR!!!

Slainte, friends!


Of Interest To Preppers:

A "New" [?] Blog To Watch

I was going to take the night off to watch the beautiful rain continue to make my garden area a swimming pool, and to, sadly, see Mr. Farve miss a superbowl opportunity. BUT...

Some blog-hopping led me to a new site several of you might enjoy. Go See Freyja's site. I think you'll be impressed. Been a while since she's updated; hope that changes .

Would that we were all so far along the path to independence and freedom.

Slainte, folks.


24 January 2010

Consider You'sef 'Non-Schooled'...

Look @ the chess board; look @ the beer.

Wholly unintentional, and yet..
Ain't those just pretty melding colors-- all dark and beige and stuffs, the contrasts?!?

I was enamored of the board when we procured it for the Evil Genius' Diem Natum. When, of c'est nacth, it mached the Yeungling, well...

Can ye pronounce "kismet"???

Is one of the toughtest disciplines to accept about, and take away from-- much less exercise during-- the penultimate strategorical game on the face of the planet.

And repetitive play teaches it.

Do the 'school' your spawn be attending do dat? I mean, sans Ritalen?
Folks, beneficial lessons too numerous to mention-- oft explained as a result of, and more oft during-- are gleaned, processed, and passed forth from these "play times"-- and are better (more learningly beneficial) than all the crapoleum I hear/read abouts spewing forth from pubic-- erm, I mean-- well, SHOULD MEAN-- them thar public --institutions.

Patience was the one proffered itse'f c'est nacth [that xlates to 'TONIGHT' for the monolingual of ye there].

This blogpost SUCKS.

I was public-schooled.

Comprends-tu, un peu?

yup; me neether. 'S why I'm totin' in pictures, tryin' to show youse..
And, ain't the colors all j'es PURTY???

Don't do it, folk!! Don't let eddication suprecede Gnosis.



23 January 2010

Two- Faced:

Like Janus the god...

A few knights ago, Mademoiselle Asphodel posted a Slipknot video on her blog. [Man! There's nothing sexier than a super-hot headbanging chick!!!] I cleared some floor space, set my feet wide and solidly, turned up the volume, and prepared for a day-after with minimal neck movement (because, let's face it, @ near forty-three, just a few minutes of proper pit protocol pains plentiful...).

Now, I had to do several double-checks. First and foremost-- I thought the featured band was Slipknot? You know-- masks, moshpits on- and off-stage, maniacal metal replete w/ unbeknownst lyrics. You know-- SLIPKNOT:

Instead, this is what I heard:

I heard it again next day on Sirius Octane. It's fast becoming one of my favorites, right in line with Pearl Jam's Just Breathe....

This is talent, folks-- the range of musical ability covered by this band. I love metal. I mean, I'd bear Kurt Hammet's babies could I, dig what I'm talking about?
But... I'd do Amy Lee, too. REPETITIVELY. And make her sing in between. Maybe even a hum-job, y'know?

I'm just saying, folks... always nice to be surprised-- pleasantly-- by in-depth, broad-range artistic talent.

G'nite, Folks. I'm off to snuggle up to my Flower and watch The Bourne Identity. [Like I said, variety...lol!]


21 January 2010

You Want How Much?

Well, I Just Ain' Gonna Be Able To Do It!!

Fifteen bones for a haircut? Geddafukoudahea!

Look, I realise I've migrated closer to yankeeland. I know shit's gonna be more expensive: Food. Beer.


But honest, it's a freakin' butchering of dead protien, folks! I mean, in H-town I coulda got a choppin', left a sizable tip, and strode home with a sixer of Busch tall boys for all that!

Sheesh!! Never even been there, but suddenly I ken I aint in Kansas anymore, Tonto...

Oh, I'll eventually engrain meself to the fact that forking over, minimally, twelve clams for a mediocre snip will be de riguer. But, NOT TODAY!!!

Today? Twelve tokens are better one-for-one'd...

Slainte, volk!


An Evening At A Glance--

Some Post-Landscapage Relaxation

Hey-- it ain't as easy as it looks!! I mean, it is "Australian for beer"!!!

Enough of those, and I can actually win a game or two... ;D

[Seriously! I mean, you see who's smiling and who's stressing here...]

Slainte, folks!

20 January 2010

The Farmer's Almanac Was Right...

It's A Good Few Days For Seeding Above-Ground Plants

Of course, I woulda done it anyhow-- advice be damned. Because I feel it. I'm itching to do it. And, too, there's the tiller on loan...
Poor thing, that tiller... I killed it!!! It ran fine with the fuel what were in it, managing near all of the deep second-tilling of the 4x12 bed before caughing out. My suspicions are it dinna like the fuel/oil mixture I added-- I used motor oil versus two-cycle. Didn't foul the plug, nor sieze the thing's engine; it simply don't wanna continue on...

But, I dinna start this post to talk about tiller machinacide. I wanted to sport a few images of the days' labor. So... let's see what it looked like a few days ago...

And then before the day's tiller-killage...
[I'd been hoeing in the dirt...]
[Quit. You know I was...]

Some serious leaf-raking took place yesterday. Well, en realite it's been going on since my arrival round 'bouts the Winter Solstice. Composting the available leafy materials culled from yardverks returns the 80% of the nutrients siphoned out, saves landfill space, and shall, in the years to come, make this construction dumpsite (hence the seeming 'hole' defining current garden boundaries) rise and rise, evening out the topography with black soil-- Momma Nature's REAL 'gold'-- in years to come. [C'mon, summer, when I can collect the entire neighborhood's lawn clippings and add to the riches! HA! SUCKERS! Um, I mean, "Thanx, neighbor!!!"]

Anyhow, I've rambled enough. Didn't mean to be so verbose, but... this is gardening, folks. E.g., a chunk o' my soul. It's what I do, and spring [no pun intendede] passionate about.

And NO, it is NOT too early to be planting stuffs. Youse guys out there green-thumbing along know that gardening is a year-round fiasco. There be plantas what like cool climes, or at least need some cooler printemps to produce well. So, seeded in today were
spinach, lettuce, & cabbage.

I gots more seeds-- a plethora of them.
And warmer weather be coming. And my patience wearing thin :D But I'll wait-- for almost as long as the rest of the world deems.

HA! Like I did with those peas what I started indoors and moved out too early for ...
Well, apparently, NOT too early! HA!!!


[BUMMER!!! Alas, no picture of early pea-ing. But...
But, folks, I am a Silly Swan. And I labored hard today. So, what do I deserve? Huh? Huh?! I ax, what? WHAT??!!!]

May I have THREE, prease?!?

Slainte, folks!


19 January 2010

Do You See...

"A Goddess, Tree?

Her tail alight of Fire??

No way you are not drawn to me...

I called you forth, My Sire..."

It's a lava lamp, folks. A lamp whose lava-imagery persisted, fascinatingly--photographically-- for HOURS. Literally.

And, is it not so much more? I mean...

Thank the Goddess I have pictoral proof.
AND a witness!!!

Slainte, folks.


18 January 2010

I Think I Got 'Em Both Covered

Because, I Keep Getting Back Up...

[My apologies for the poor video resolution; this were the bestest asswipes ass-wiping out to the lyrics I could muster.]

Suddenly, I have no doubt...

Slainte, folks.


16 January 2010

Just One Of Those Nights...

Where Everything Is...

I coulda said, could add near ANY adjective, adverb, or other type of descriptive word thingie. But they'd be extraneous.

It has naught to do with it being Freya's Day nacht (Friday, to you julian-calendar glomerons).

It has naught to do with the Little Dude off for the weekend with his dad, thus giving me and Flower some down-time.

Naught to do with full belly; naught to do with good brew.

Nor another good-friend phonetic contact. Pas aussi the trip to Ma's menana-- a wind-down bonus. Nor... well, y' get the images (and are now visualising your own, prithee).

And at the same time it has everything to do with all that.

It's just a good night, people. It's early yet. It's relaxed. We have options:

Food. Movies. Sex. Running down the drive barefoot, blue-hilighted hair streamning behind, barking efficaciously enough to scare off not one but two neighbors' mutts what's been harassing your porch-pussies... [Some jokes really are just for me, Volk!]

I hope everyone of you out there are experiencing at least some smidgeon of the.. well, the just plain easy, peacefull,and full-on honest smile-inducing BEING that I am c'est soir.

Slainte, folks!


15 January 2010

Short Nite...

Well, it will be on blogger, anyhow. Thursday's is regular nacht for a discussion group @ Borders books, and we're just now in the door and full from dinner and edging towards the arms of Morpheus, so I'm just gonna say hope everyone had a good day and has great night, and I'll see y'all on the morrow!

Slainte, folks!


14 January 2010

" Do I Gotta WHUH?!?"

And, you REALLY wanna see it???

"An i.d. ,sir."

"Um, I do [have an ID]..."

Now, admit it. You have to know I was smiling at this point, being all of thirty-something. Okay, forty. Two. [Aw, all right!!! Near forty-three! Damnit, man!!! :D]

"I need to see it, please."

Huh. 'Sir' and 'please'. Not in Kansas anymore... Or, uh, Texas, case being.


And we're ALL smiling more profoundly at this juncture, n'est-ce pas?

Now, I realise one of the extra tip-earning tricks in the wait-person trade is to execute this tactic on those you are more than near certain are legal age, yet vibrant and glowing. But... this were a convenience store. And I am, and look, all of better that twenty-one. So...

Yes, je comprends it is la ley. And should be done regardless. But, when an octo-genarian walkers [Hiya, Kitten!!! :D] in for a tw'ack [twelve-pack for you tea-toalers out there], do we really needs require proof of legality to self-intoxicate?

Yup, we do.


Because!! Because how many times over twenty-five have you been asked, been i.d.'d??

Okay; how many times would you have liked to? How many times have I jokingly asked, at the counter, "How come I never get ID'd any more?" Sure, with a smile on my face, but longingly none the less...

Anyhow, how many of you got a blogpost out of a beer-run c'est soir?

And are smiling, regardless?

Huh huh how many, eh???

Slainte, Folk!


13 January 2010

I'd Love To Go Into Great Detail...

I Could Ramble Incessantly.

But I Won't. No need, really.

Suffice it to say that all day long, as I move about choring here, doing there, seemingly accomplishing squat [retrospect oft proves otherwise, don't it? :D], that I had it right on my Facebook entry this ante-meridian: it's been a really, really great day.

Cooler out-of-doors than predicted, but still absolutely beautiful weatherwise. And lifewise?

Manna, oh MANNA!

The oh-so-wanna-be feral kittens out there just blazing for pettery. The birds voraciously gobbling seed from suet and feeder. The cardboard and paper waste going not to a landfill but to a burn barrel tonight, then into compost on the morrow.

The tending of seedling transplants and herb start-ups for summer harvest/consumption.

Connecting with a life friend after an hiatus of too damned long.

A good nap that involved not so much sleep as, well... GOOD. [Okay, fan-fu*king-tastic. Everyone should be so blessed, I would wish.]

And all day long, moving in and out of the abode, the scents. Oh, My Gods, the scents!! Chicken carcas boiling down for soup stock. Roast in the slow-cooker for evening consumption. More fried okra-- not so good tonight, as I tried to complicate the breading approach. [Lucky for me, mashed papas and roast gravy helped soften the batter-cover!! Ha!]

Hockey on tv after sunset. A family game of Monopoly where all fared well (and a seven-year-old Evil Genius did math that would impress Habib of the local corner store). Frothy brewsky, toosky...

Several good videos of cats on nip. Laughter abounding. Love and discipline and sheer life sharing space.

Well, here I said no detail. And really, folk, that aint any.


Some days, I look not only at the end, but all during, and simply needs bow down and proffer thanks.

Still doesn't APPROACH doing the day justice, but were I as good as ol' Will [Shakespeare, folk, Shakespeare], still would the task be too daunting.


I bow down.

Good night, folks.



12 January 2010

Garden Delights In January!

I'm cooking one of the sides for the night's meal-- fried okra. Okra from last summer's Houston garden.


This year I've started early again, seeding green peas, carrots, lettuce, and spinach indoors. Though I still feel it is a bit early, I moved the peas out-of-doors today. Well, the rest of the stuffs, too, but those were really more an experiment. I'm not familiar with the cooler clime I'm now inhabiting, and having a shovel or hoe hit frozen red clay... well, it seems antithetical to all my green-thumbery instincts to be putting stuffs out in these kinda conditions. But, they weren't going to get a lot of pods in the egg cartons they were started in! And worse case scenario, they don't take. I've got more seeds.

We've got a few warmer days coming, then some rain predicted for the weekend. I'm getting restless for the onset of solid spring and the then encroaching summer, but will use the few warm days to do some hardcore bed-readying and compost turning for some later cold-tolerant direct-seeding.

Kind of a rambling post, and I needs go tend the okry now... but am stoked that Mother Earth hath provided for the belly for the night, and look forward to tending Her for even greater wealth in the coming days, months, and years.

Eat well, sleep well, and BE WELL, my friends...



09 January 2010

Aliens Inhabiting Swan's Carcas

Gotta Be. You'll See...

And the proof? He's plopped in front of that electronica Earth-bound call 'tee-veee'.
For the second nacht in a row.

Gotta be aliens, doncha think?!? I mean here is a man [? Pen??] whom for better than two decades of life hath not partaken in the visual mind-numbery of the idiot box [of course we've already covered the fact that FELICITY and The Gilmore Girls don't really count...] aka electronic babysitter aka 900 channels of simultaneous commercial advertisement device, and now not only is our poor Swanboi [my regards, Mademoiselle...] glomeroned to the damned thing for multi-sport, multi-night, multi-brain cell (had he possession thereof off the bat; debatable, that. The whole bird-brain thingie..) deadening, but also-- ALSO, I tell ya-- playing Wii video games on the Evil satelite-radio-frequency-recieving device!!!

SEND HELP!!! Call Jim Jones! Beg, and beg HARD, I plead! for this poor ol' silly Swan's quick recoup!! Else you know what will be next; the poor creatur will be tornadically drawn down down DOWN to the realms of...


Oh, no! Ah, Gads, NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!


Slainte, Folks. And GO Cowboys, and Avalanche!!! HarAarAaar!!!!

Real live Aliens.. erm, we mean 'Cygnus'

Yeah. Really. We do.


I spent the entire day in bed yesterday.

Yeah-- quit with the antics; it weren't that kind of bed-day... I've never been bedded down for near two days, as an adult, other than a bout of strep throat. And can't call this "sick", really, b/c I'm still not sure what that is. Nor what yesterday's cause was.

Slap worn out is the consesnus. I must be getting old, because that'd be a first also, though I can't say the last few weeks haven't been pyhsically, mentally, and otherwise all-around taxing.

The writer-swan is wont to gear up again; the gardener-bird awaiting warmer printemps (though has been working compost, clearing beds, and counting seed for the frost-tolerant plantings what should be possible in a few weeks. Already got peas started indoors; carrots and onions are, too, but no sprouting of those yet...).

De rigur Cygnus is recouping the only proper American way when the ambient air is measuring twenty on Mr. Farenheit's scale-- multiple hours of hockey-watching with matching frothy beverage consumerism.

Hullo, weekend!

Slainte, folks


07 January 2010

If This Don't Tickle Yall's Laughter Gizmo

[My niece twinx @ chriss-mess] Then you should see if'n it don't need replacing...

Slainte, folks!

06 January 2010

Slow Day...

Quiet-- and COLD-- around Casa de Crazy today. Think I'll keep it so...

Slainte, Folks. More menana.


05 January 2010

Anxious To Blaze...

No, folk, not that kinda blazing, nice though it be...

No, I'm meaning to apologize for the sound quality of yesterday's video. It'd been so long since I posted anything here that as soon as this new uber-computer (thanks, MomLady!!! [Um, I should mention... the blazing speed of a computing machina what has SIX GIG of RAM belongs to Little Bird. Big Bird, aka Swan, hath only taken ken...) processed the vid, I cared not to try and figger out the sound thingie, but just to post.

I've got a million new pictures and a plethora of stories to show and tell. Now that my relocalation is done and the hectic Holiday season has past, I'll settle in solidly and do that. My intent-- as I stated underneath the waterfall sound in yesterday's vid-- is to become once again active daily on this blog.

A surprise or three is/are in store, too. I've been sitting here for several minutes trying to lead therein with some dramatic tension, but I've been too long away [from writing], so I'll work blog for a few days, polish up my shenanagan-ry, and commence full-on Swanfoolery as I am so noted for being/doing, and continue from there.

For the interim, I've set some kind of record-- TWO posts in two days...

Hmm... might be able to finagle that daily thingamajig... ;D

For the nacht, Slainte, Folks!

Sweet Dreams, and I'll see y'all menana.

[No longer Olor] Cgnus

03 January 2010

A Winter Solstice Bonfire Roadtrip

And I'm still tripping...
Much more coming soon, Folks. Slainte. Cygnus