04 August 2011

The Tears Dry, Though.

What Sucks Is That I'm Leaving The Same Legacy For MY Progeny.

It hurts when, being the oldest son in the family, your dad-- father, I mean [difference there; ask me some other time] never calls to see "howzit, kid?"

Not once in 7 months of his grand-daughters' birth have I been on the receiving end of a call, social, familial or otherwise.

I think, in the same 7 months, I heard from my half-brother... let's see... Once? On facebook? mafia wars request? I think so, yah...

And my sister-- she messaged me to tell me to call my dad. On father's day-- or my father on dad's ... what the fuck ever.

Yeah. I was at Wisteria. No phone signal. Notice I didn't miss any messages from my whelp, either.

And my ... and Flower. I don't visit 'blog' anymore; I don't read the words that 'supposedly' won me.

Eighteen months later, and don't want to write on blogger, because I don't want those who know me online-- those who I might still convince I am capable of, against all odds, succeeding-- I can't journal my failures to be a real man here daily. I can't take the shame. Sorry...

No, baby momma. No, father. No, sis.

I don't like me. I don't show me.


21 July 2011

Her Words Won Me.

Her Voice Keeps Me.

It was better than two years ago I met a woman on line-- more specifically, on blogger.

I could complicate it here, tell all the details we've figured about what day, what topic, what time...

I'll save those for another post. But, our meeting was ONLINE-- no faces, no clues. Physically.

And through her language, through her vibrant mastery of the ... hell, through her sheer mastery of WORDS...

Well, my heart was won. I was lost. I'm in love.

And then I moved here, based on that on-line meeting [and a couple physical rondevous, really. Because, y'know...] . And then, I heard her classically-trained voice.

When she goes into studio and puts that magnificent voice on record for posterity, I pray I am fortunate enough to be rhythm-keeper on percussion as background.

In the interim, I'll walk out of the house from time to time, overwhelmed and teary-eyed; I hear The Voice.

I AM a lucky man...

Slainte, folks.


08 February 2011

Through The Eyes Of Freedom

Saoirse's eyes...

Two weeks of taking in what must have seemed at first awfully bright visual sensory input have sharpened to the high end of chiaroscuro definition. With my own windows of the Soul open and taking her in, those yellow-flaked blue orbs causing neuron fire for synapse construction over the light-and-dark contrast of the ceiling fan blades.
Total absorption in the thing; not defining it, mayhap not even knowing, thinking or caring to try. Just taking it in, OBSERVING it.

Freedom... Saoirse is, I'm told, a parallel in the Irish language.

Too young to let either reflections of the 'past' or worries of the 'future' mar the Present.

There's a lesson there.

Think I'll go hold her again and watch the birds eat. I'll stand there in what, when we see adults doing it, we call 'daydreaming'. We've suppressed that this is the key to learning: the total, non judgemental Zen-observation of our first days...

Slainte, folks.


01 February 2011

Unbeknownst To Me

Flower Had her Camera Running

@ ... the Redneck Central General Horspital[sic], Sock,and Pill Emporium


She usually shoots photos-- GALLERY QUALITY, by the way-- so, not seeing the flash i never suspected i was caught...

I've not watched the video yet. I doubt I ever will-- my tear ducts NEED reserves...

Given I take a photograph every two or three days, and am occasionally wont to wax verbose and have a new daughter with which I am utterly enamored enough to kindle fire under year-long sleeping muses, I'll likely dedicate a great deal of this blog to those aspects of my life.


I imagine there will be garden pictures as well, and have no doubt l'il Sprout will be in there-- in the front-or-back pack papa pilfered por phree... hehehe!!!

Thanks, folks, for hanging with me this dormant-- insofar as writing--- year. I have been active; heck, you should see my aluminum can and glass collection, on top of Mafia Wars and Pot farm stats! ROTF!!!

More soon!! Slainte, folks!


26 January 2011

Long Time No See Me...

My 1st 2011 Post: Been A Busy Year For Me...

I bet it only gets busier!

Saoirse Pearl-- trhe first pronounced 'sear-shuh', an Irish word for freedom-- was born yesterday morning at 0807 hrs. She weighed in at 7#14oz-- NOT the 13 ounces I erred yesterday-- and measured 20" head-to-toe.

A son 23 years ago, a daughter yesterday.

So, when does the fun start?!?

About 23 years nine months ago apparently! LMAO!!!

Slainte, folks!!!