Just paid a visit to Not Lazy Housewife @ So Domestic [I KNOW; I did it intentionally... because I sense the truth, o spunky one...]. A few days back she honored me with an 'award', and I needed to review the guidelines. My prize? I'm supposed to bare my soul by listing ten "Honest Truths" about myself.
If that's an award, I think I'd rather be punished...
Just kidding. Atually, I'm one of my favorite topics! (Darn! Shoulda used that as one of the ten; now I gotta come up with MORE stuff...sigh.............)
And come to think of it, maybe it's y'all who're gonna be punished! ha! Ah well, you can always maneuver the mouse arrow to the little red 'x' in the upper right corner. (I might if I's you..)
A cool thing, too, is, understanding grammar like I do, I can make a bunch of tripe up, because the two words... oh wait; I'm thinking of double negatives. Nothing negative about 'Honest' or 'Truth' (redundant, maybe...) Darnit twice!! Now I gotta "dig deep".
Well then, if that be the case, and in honor of my newest sweethear-- um, I mean 'Follower', sure-- the answers herein contain not a HINT of falsification. Because, didn't your Mommy say never lie?
Of course she did. And she knows best... [The tv series may have been mis-titled...]
Now, on to blowin' smoke up Uranu... OH, uh, I mean.. tellin' you "stuff" about me.
My 10 honest Truths:
1) I am an athlete.
Asked "what do you do?", most Americans will respond "Oh! I'm an accountant!" or "I do I.T Consulting"; in other words, they give their career.
Folks, that's what you do FOR A LIVING. That's your J.O.B.
Play this game: if you won the lottery yesterday, what would you be doing today (besides paperwork to collect, understandably...)?
I'd be working towards an invite to that little ol' race they have in Hawaii every year 'round about October.
And redpointing Astroman.
Jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. Until I had enough jumps to be sycophant to a BASE-jumper...
2) My Biggest Fear: Rejection.
Misanthrope that I am, I long, as does every human being, for acceptance from my peers.
I've heard orifice [office; I love to bend words...] gossip about someone whose abilities, in mine eyes, far exceed that of those who were doing the yammering...
I always picture ME in the hot seat. And it bothers me; I don't wanna be wrong...
[Who T.F. does?!?!]
3) I have no trade, no career. I know a little bit about a lot o' s%*t; kinda a jackoff of all trades.
4) I pluck the "middle" eyebrow away with tweezers. Despite the words to the modern country song (which I cut for save for the eyebrow thing), "I'm still a guy",100% MAN. Male, too; you can be the latter and not the former... I'm definitely BOTH.
5) Half the time I seem mad but it's just the way I express humor. Being sardonic is a fine art-- one that is highly underrated-- and usually (in my case anyhow) misconstrued as anger. I guess years of pessimism and hard luck can't help but shine their dark light (if that's not to mixy a metaphor!) on my funnybone...
6) I love to cook; I can clean; I know how to sew; "I can skin a buck, I can run a trot line..."
7) I hate "WORK". Work is a four-letter word. I don't mind bustin' my a$, but the 'W' word to me means sucking up. No bones about it (and no pun intended...). Let me alone with a shovel, some seeds, a hen house, an apiary; grant me some yeast... Let me build a geodesic dome to sit in and read come evening...
8) I cry. Gentlemen, if YOU don't, you ain't. Period.
9) Where on the Goddess Green Earth is my Yew Berry? I mean, I ain't no Jondolar (and love Jetamio because of her raven hair and unconditional desire for J... but I digress. I always do, and revel in doing so...) but stand fast in KNOWING that SOME DAY I will fulfill the Dream of Oengus...
10) Who'd a thunk an old high school dropout would achieve an Associate of Arts degree Summa Cum Laude? A driving force was the desire to go back to flight school and earn my Certified Flight Instructor's license. Figured in such a competitive field, an ex-con could use every bit of advantage he could muster. That, and looking smart (looking so, not necessarily being so... :o) could help a bit in conquering #2...
Wow! that weren't TOO bad...
Now for the Passing Along to seven people; problem is, I don't think I know seven people-- that whole misanthrope thingie... But a very close friend of mine whom I'd not heard from in far too long called me in the midst of my typing this. She doesn't blog, but suggested I send this via email. I'm going to count her as #1 of my seven. She also said that "misery loves company" (sure, she didn't coin the phrase; you know what I meant!). So, since I suffered through, I honor these following six with the same opportunity:
1) Jeanie "with the light brown hair" Turner. (Remember those four words, woman...)
5) Kenneth The Conqueror
6) Andy&Mel Lowe
And I'm gonna cheat, claiming #6 counts as two! Because I really don't know six people...
Al right you folks, I hereby present you with the Honest Scrap Award!!!
In all fairness, I read yall's blogs every day and realize that each post is a revelation of self. The award is in your hands; my reward is the second half of that first sentence.
Do with it as you will!
More Sunday Funnies...!
10 hours ago