27 January 2009

Exersise Every Commercial!

You heard me!

So It's monday night, and it's only been eighteen months since you discovered "LOST". Sure, you're gonna be glued to the futan, catching up on what's REALLY going on!

Done your yoga for the day? Hmm... What about A good anaerobic stretch, like in high school before Volleyball or football practice?


So watch Lost-- but first commercial comes around, do this:

1) get a glass of water.

not soda. not tea. water, please, for you, for me

2) Sit forward on to the edge of your posterior gravitational neutralizer...

(your couch or rocker, nimrod...)

3) Hold your hands out to your sides, at shoulder height

4) Move your hands in a circle, forward five complete circles, then backward five circles.

Relax your arms.

Continue pondering just exactly how old Backgammon is...

When a used car commercial stuns you out of your LOST reverie once again, do this:

1) move forward to the edge of your sweetheart's lap. (Uh, face FORWARD, atta lady...)

2) Beginning with arms hanging loosely by your side, Keep your elbows straight, and fists in a line with your ears (works to the front or the side); raise fists to shoulder height AND THEN, AND ONLY THEN, SHRUG YOUR SHOULDERS (hint: say "I Dunno", and shrug accordingly..)

Feel the 'pickup' action your neck/ trapezius (upper back/ neck) "squinched" into?

You're working your 'pull' muscles in the deltoid (commonly known as the shoulder) group.

Shoulders are a great "push-pull" muscle; what I mean by this is your pectoralis (chest) is primarily a push group, in conjunction with your delts (shoulders) and triceps ('backarms')
Your latissimus dorsi, or "wings" as they are often referred to, are a primary pull group, along with the Biceps (frontarms) and, again, the delts.

Think about you might use the two different groups for a single purpose-- such as pushing a shopping cart... You use the cart's momentum in forward speed to turn onto the oreo isle by pulling back on one corner of the buggy and pushing the opposite corner 'faster' or more forcefully. Now turn the opposite way.

See how you feel your body diametrically push-/pull-ing/
This is the balance I look to effect every workout (currently two days/week for 45 -60 min per session = ~1.5-2.0 hrs ANAEROBIC per semanis)

Do the shoulder winds listed above twice a week while watching Spongebob with the two-year-old. Back straight-- neither arched nor humped.

Use your imagination to come up with one push- mocking exersize, and one pull... (ex: imaginary pullups; pushing away the Coffee Breath office faction..)

All it takes is to do some counted set of body motion every time a commercial interrupts your alpha-state with coherent thought. Coherently work through a decided range of motion about five times every 30 minutes( the approx. # of commercial breaks you'll get during 30 min of brauinwashin.. uh, I mean brainwashing!). Do this for one 30-minute session per nacht.
Qatre Nachts per semanis. (4Xweek for sheeple who don'k know frenc, german and that other lingua)

Stay loose and limber, and remember to breathe right... (in through the nose, out throught the mouth).



HermitJim said...

Sorta like "wax on...wax off"?

Good post, nephew!

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Exactly! Only don't wax off all by your lonesome, if it can at all be avoided...

Rod said...

So Cygnus were you born this way or did your Uncle Jim warp you at a very young age?

Excellent post!

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Oh no! Hermit don't get no credit here! I loath the word "normal".
Uncle's contributing virtue is - well, it's a multi-faceted virtue, y'see;

a) we sees things the same way. Like "get out of dodge, ASAP"

b) he bakes good bread.

c) sure, there's another here somewhere; hang loose...

Ash said...

You write with such enthusiasm. :P

Good post. People should heed your advice.

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Ash! The Beautiful Hand model!
Enthusiasm, ehh...

Just so easy to do such minor preventative maintenance, and so overlooked in importance. just remain FLEXIBLE.


--some old country song..

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Hey Lookie, Maw! Changed me name with No Hands!!