11 September 2009


We're Gonna Officially Call It: MID-LIFE CRISIS

Because, really, there ain't no other reason I've been beyond depressed for going on eight months now.

No, the mood has not improved, save superficially, in all that time. [Never mind what it were like before; it was...not much less oscillating, honestly, but certainly had shorter cycle durations...]

I don't care to blog. Sad, to me, but, ... (Um, is 'sad' the same as 'I Don't Care'? Because... maybe I do have some emotion left...) Well, I do care that I don't care, but I don't wanna get in a loop here...

I don't read anymore. ANYTHING. (Now, THAT'S not me...) I don't exercise. Half the time I don't care to eat.

Or shit. [But, when you gotta go...] Or shower. Just don't care much to exist, in general. But ain't of the bent to not, so...

I just feel in a stall that is non-recuperative.
I won't bore you with all the items that come to mind to write down. Because... I don't care to.

Granted, I get down from time to time-- who doesn't?-- but it gets longer and longer each round... and this one seems to have no circumferential closure.

EIGHT MONTHS??? Something's up.

I just wish I cared what.


Nope. Don't.




Unknown said...

Aww...Man that's sad and it makes me sad for you, Sir.

And concerned.

Can you see someone like a doctor about it? Because being out of kilter for that long may mean you need to have something addressed that is beyond your control.

And I would say that to any of my friends who felt this same way.

You matter, Sir, take care of yourself.

Maireann croí éadrom i bhfad.
( A light heart lives the longest)

Peace - Rene

Felinae said...


I am going to agree 100% with Rene.

8 months is too long to be down in the dumps, you need to see someone about this.

Take care, my friend


Cygnus MacLlyr said...

I've thought about that, Lady Rene.

I don't think I could. Meaning, I think I'd send one of those over the Abyssal Edge, too...

But, I'm confident it'll all go away.

Slainte, Beautiful Lady Rene.

Kyddryn said...

Oh, Sir - I'm so sorry...

Being stuck in the greys...sigh...

If you don't care, it's apparent that WE do.

Whatever you need to muddle through the mire and reach sunlight again....I hope you find it, and soon. Eight months is a terrible long time...and can so easily turn into a span of years...which would be better spent savoring the beauty in life rather than the blah.

How may one help?

Shade and Sweetwater,
K (who's had some 31 years and counting of living with clinical depression and wouldn't wish it on her worst enemy, let alone a marvelous friend like you)

Anonymous said...

Cygnus, its not often I tell ppl anything, I would rather talk with them. However, in this case I am telling you my friend, it is time to seek anothers opinion.

Clinical depression is about chemical imbalances, there is nothing you can fix without addressing that imbalance, and for that treatment is required.

Please seek a medical opinion Cygnus, you have nothing to lose and plenty to gain:)