28 February 2009

"And President MacLlyr's Nominations For Cabinet Are..."

OK, you, me, we're all sick of what an Obamanation this country has become.
Bailouts out of control. Outsourcing. A g.p. stick-it-to'edness of mom&pop Americana.

We've talked.
We've typed.
We've teabagged half the flacid members of our House and Senate.
We've ranted until we were blue in face and balls...

NO MORE.

I have a solution.

I must needs sacrifice, like George did, and step in and do DUTY.

I hereby motion that we abolish the illegal hoard that Worseington has become-- as is our CONSTITUTIONAL DUTY-- and replace it with a new way. The Old School Way...

[Drumroll, Please!]

First and foremost, note that I have proffered to take the lead here and allow myself to be bid President.

No, no-- it ain't an ego thing. In fact, I realize that the Pres is merely a puppethead-- and puppethead-dom I can do.

I know that the true power belongs to those behind the scenes, the diligent movers and shakers that make up the Cabinet. Hence, once pres-elect, I duly nominate the following True Souls to said appointments:

Starting with the DEA, I nominate Livia Indica. This was primera because if you're anywhere near as stressed as I at the modern mayhem that America has come to be, we're all gonna wanna take a 20-minute Attitude Adjustment before continuing on with assigned/ elected posts...

[Back] Better? Yeah... cool... Now-- Onward Thru The Fog!

As Vice-President, the Notorious Hermit Jim seems singularly appropriate...

Third in line would be Speaker Of The House-- and here I nominate that Ornery Bastard, Busted Knuckles, on sheer talent of unadultered eloquent verbosity...

Now, I'm gonna go off the norm here and add a few 'foreigners' (Non-Nationals) to the shelf-- a couple of Canuks (no offense, Ladies!) and an Aussie, to be precise-- not just because I'm the Pres and I Says, but given the nature of the offices and the girls' abilities, I feel it would greatly enhance our value to be allowed to add them to the mix...

That said, I also want to amend Constitutional Amendment #1 by adding an 'r' and an 'm' : Thus we have Freedom FROM religion, not OF...

And I hereby nominate DarklyFey of Red Leather Couch fame to continue keeping separate Religion and State.

Department Of Foreign Affairs? Whom other than Edain? English, Pagan, and in Canada... Sounds qualified to me!

Back in the States, we'll need a qualified Dept. Of Domestic Affairs head(ess?)...Lettuce.. er, let us elect, then, our very own Lazy Housewife...

And of Commerce. Only one fills the bill so unerringly-- Confess, Overworked Mom, that you don't deserve the bid, and I'll withdraw it...

Department of Health? Now we needs go down under, for Molly seems best qualified to help us do it, naturally...

Of Eddication-- um, Education? Un-School 'em all, Stephanie In Arkansas!

Of Welfare? It's been abolished. You caint make it in a capitalist sphere, go to Leningrad, commerade...

Our department of Agriculture seems no doubt best guided by the True-Gritted neophyte [yeah, my ass, a "neophyte"...! Must make me a puppet's ASS, not head...], Phelan.

And we needs aesthetic stimulus to aide in the times of our rebuilding, so I propose we turn over the Fine Arts Institute to the infinitely capable hands of these two talented Lassies, Ash and Aesha...

The Department of Transportation would obviously benefit from Maddog's expertise.

FEMA? A given-- BISON is the man. Or beast, in keeping consistent theme...

And the ever-important Department Of Energy would lack in top performance world-wide were it headed by any other than DRAGON from The Circle.. Tell me different and you lie...

Now I ain't keen on post-9/11 bureaucracy, but do propose that we keep the Department Of Homeland Security, combining it with the FBI, CIA, NSA, and other TBA watch-dogger worlds under one umbrella, headed by Bullseye. I know this nomination is on target with our goals...

A lot of red tape will, by popular decree, simply vanish. But I proffer that in honor of the Second Amendment to the [Original] Constitution Of these Newnited States of America, we at minimum semi-nationalize the N.R.A. and head it up with KEN. The world will be a better place, then.

Mayberry has his choice of posts. He would, in this Old Bird's books, qualify for many if not any of the afore-mentioned assignments, but here's an individual likely best left to pursue his passion for the First Amendment.. so maybe(rry! ha!! :D) we'll just turn the F.C.C. over to him. Yeah; that's what we should gear for... stupid me!

Erik, work with Steph on educational reform, would you, please?

As well as watching over our Parks and Wildlife interests, venture to the Private Sector and revamp tha A.S.P.C.A., would ya, Catman and Catwoman?

And none of you are to neglect your Blogpost duties as well. After all, the Puppethead must needs stay abreast, oui?

And speaking of...

I'd be a bit disappointed if there isn't one current reader out there just a bit miffed at thinking she's been left out.

You shouldn't be, silly woman. You haven't been forgotten. I simply thought it obvious that everybody knows you'll be asked to reign as First Lady.

[Rimshot! Thank You...]

Slainte, my newly elected officialis!

Cygnus

25 comments:

Livia Indica said...

I'm ready Mr. President!! My first goal would be to decriminalize everything!!! Then regulate everything so that the "kill you on the first try" shit wouldn't be around anymore. Once research and development becomes mainstream who knows what we can do! Then tax everything just like tobacco and alcohol. Take all that money we spend on arresting, trying and housing recreational users, plus all the new drug tax money, and get this country out of our monumental debt. If we would just decriminalize, organize, regulate and tax we wouldn't be in so much hock! And, of course, once things are legal the forbidden fruit angle would be gone. I'm not saying everything would be roses but this "war on (some) drugs" has had its chance, and failed miserably. It's time for a new strategy!

erik said...

i am humbled, kind sir, that one of your inestimable character would even consider this unworthy for a post....

ConfessionsOfAnOverworkedMom said...

Well, thankyou, Mr. President. I am honored to be chosen!

Ken said...

...awaiting your orders Mr.President...my first order of business,requires recognition of the following department,the Constitutional Republics' Rifle Association...

(hell,anything,by any other name,to sever myself and 'my' departments from the n.r.a.s' agenda...)
..."every terrible implement of the soldier,is the birthright of the American citizen"

N.R.A. KissMyA$$
G.O.A. +1

Phelan said...

I get the Ag Dept! I am honored.

So your the reason the cia has been visiting my blog.

HermitJim said...

Being the vice prez means I really don't have to do anything, right?

If I follow the example of most of the other V.P,s, I just have to sit around and look old...and maybe grunt once in a while!

DarklyFey said...

Hehehe. You are hilarious.

Stephanie in AR said...

Guess I don't know what to say - lol I could say friends don't let friends go into politics...

Edain: said...

Why, thank you Mr. President! I will create a Department of Foreign Affairs using a foreign policy that is truly... well, foreign.

Rofl... great post! Ya nutter. :)

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

livia! I knew you'd get right busy! thanks!

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

eric, we gotta teach them right. no more revisionist history...

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Overworked mom-- I figure with your eye-for-a-bargain touch, we'd cut current spending by better than 99%!
Thanks for the visit!

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Ken, i think, as much as i dislike being told what to do by govmint, we should make possession of and safe-use training of at least one gun mandatory for all citizens...

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Phelan! glad to see you over my song again! I'd make lengthier retort, but these men in dark glasses over either shoulder ain't got wind of my puppethead-dom just yet, seems...

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Hermit, i KNEW you'd enjoy this job!

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

DarklyFey-- thank you! and you're far too cute...
Good thing i'm banned from Canada! LOL :D

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Steph-- just think of it as a big homeschool, not a nation of brat-- er, kiddos!
Thanks for swinging by...

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Edain, i think a foreign Foreign policy would be perfect! HA!
Stay warm up there!

Bustednuckles said...

Verbose?
Me?
Guilty as charged.

You contrarian sonsabitches need to form a line to the right.

Everybody else?
Open Fire.

Bullseye said...

C, my dear friend, I like it. Then I would be surrounded by my good friends that I know are Patriots. Count me in brother, thanks. I'll do my best.

Catman said...

I'd be honored to serve.

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Busted, there really aint none more eloquent... "Never have so many said so much with so few [words]"

Love your blog, man! Keep it up!

Thanks for coming by...

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Catman and Bullseye...

Nary two better, my men!

Sulus, and onward through whatever smoke is governmentally anus-intent...

Bee and Rose said...

I knew there was a reason I liked coming over here! The voice of reason! Fantastic nominations!

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Thank you very much, Bee and Rose!

Care to take over hillary's Secretary of State job? Bet you could gain US eminent domain of Beijing...