I'm Gonna Share This Part Of Me Here, Too...
This is some of the writing that led me here-- led me and Flower to ignite, propelled me to move to Georgia. The better post, the first one, I want to repost here, because it [polyamory] became a physical reality in my life as of this Summer Solstice past, and it shall ever remain so.
The following highlighted text is a post from my PagansWan blog, written round 'bouts 18 months ago. Boy, did I call THIS one! HA!!!
You're in the bedroom moaning with sexual pleasure from a partner you love.
I'm in the kitchen-- same house, or one miles or countries away. And madly in love with you.
If I LOVE you-- unconditional, limitless, real capitol LOVE, not lust or puppy love or that wonderful romantic love we all get when we first meet someone special-- then why would I not be happy that you are gaining pleasure?
My being jealous doesn't denote love.
That I demand, expect or think that all your pleasure--sexual or otherwise-- come solely from me is not only unfeasible but smacks more of a want to possess, of ego-driven self-aggrandizement.
OUTSIDE OF SEX
Two of the three people I profess to love will never share a bed with me. "He" won't because neither of us are homosexual. "She" won't for various reasons, distance being a major factor. (Even if we were close the love might needs remain unrequited due to the opines of her spousal unit-- whom she loves very much, thank you.)
That doesn't negate ONE IOTA the love I feel for them.
Is that love 'different' than the love I share with the one I actually have a shot at getting into the sack?
Sure-- insofar as they are unique individuals. For me the love for each one differs not in amount, not 'more' or 'less', but in shades of subtlety having to do with reasons we were drawn together. Personality types, interests, dislikes... all factor in, but I don't see the LOVE in and of Itself as different. Different than family (e.g. sibling or parental) love, but the same love one non-blood related adult has for another.
50% OF [Traditional] Marriages...
So you're married. Happily. In love. The kind of love that grows as your friendship and life together are growing, long after the initial romantic fires wane. (And they do, folks. Be Honest.)
Attraction to another. Even if it is purely a physical attraction it doesn't cause you to love your partner any less.
Who's in your mind's eye that night during love-making?
And what if you and this new attraction begin to become friends, bond.. Does development of this new one cause those aspects of your current relationship to diminish? Might seem so, given the divorce rate.
But I question...
Was the first "love" Love? Now you only love the second "love"? Was, or is, then, this love you transferred Finite? You can't still feel them both?
I don't have the answers. These are questions helping me constantly examine and evaluate my beliefs on this issue.
Thanks to everyone for commenting on this. Your words and thoughts have occupied endless hours of my time. A little extra thanks to Allie for prodding a good deal of today's thought on the matter.
And Granddaddy (and Grandmommy!) THANKS to He, She, and V.J.T. for bringing an exceptional-- and it seems, an extraordinary-- amount of LOVE into this bird's existence...
The numbers have changed-- life is dynamic-- but the writing sounds the idea well.
Um, the best reading-- like most blogger-- is in the comments section of these two posts.
There'll be more.
Isn't there always?!! HARAA!